Dreams of Dragons: My Heart's Reality
by Beautiful-Bird-Avenger99
Summary: Elizabeth was just your usual normal unnormal girl from London.When she meets a kindly old man in front of the old theater showing The Hobbit:an unexpected journey,she offers him some tea and an umbrella at her apartment.Elizabeth learns that no small good deed goes unrewarded,But when she passes out from a high fever after The man left, she is transported into The Hobbit!Thorin/OC
1. Chapter 1

**So, i have no idea how i got the idea for this. i saw the Hobbit ****_twice_**** and i loved it! (more like loved Thorin,Fili and Kili...)but off topic! so, i'm pretty much pulling this out of my ass as (lol) i go. :) i do hope you'll enjoy! **

I groaned as i came out of the dojo where i worked. '_My would it kill Kenpo to let up a wee bit? I give ONE cough,and he goes on a rant about how women are weaker then men. My gosh,would it kill him to get that stick outta his ass?'_ I frowned at the mental picture of Kenpo pulling a stick out of his ass. I grimaced. blegh. I need some mind soap.

I walked past the theater and saw a poster for the new Lord of the Rings movie,The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey. Even as i was feeling terribly sick,I just couldn't keep the big shit-eating grin off my face. I loved the LotR series. They were the whole reason for me getting a job where i get beat up every day. not that i minded. You see,the dojo where i worked, didn't just do hand-to-hand combat, they taught things like archery, swordplay, and pretty much how to survive in the wild when they went camping and incase they got stranded. I taught there, but mostly archery, hand-to-hand, and survival. I didn't do to well at swordplay,but i could handle a blade fairly well if need be. But off topic._  
_

It was raining hard. '_Nothing new. this is England we're talking about here.' _ I grumbled to myself. but still,I stood in the rain, wearing nothing but my,as my friend Katie's mother liked to say, 'Robin Hood' style. which consisted of black leggings, a brown woven belt, and a black 'I Heart-Heart Doctor Who' overly-large shirt. It was a large,i get all my shirts in large. i love large shirts,'cause for one as short (Petite!) as myself, i feel like i'm swimming in it. and i had my black CLOTH boots on. I shivered,but still didn't move from staring at the Hobbit poster. I heard a cough from behind me. "Excuse me ma'm,are you alright?" I turned around and saw a tall elderly man with long gray hair and a long gray beard,and blue eyes that sparkled with mischief.

"No sir, I'm fine,thank you for asking though." I smiled at him. I loved old people.

"You were looking very intently at the poster of the Hobbit and smiling,So i wondered if you had seen it, or was going to see it." the old man said.  
I waved my hand in dismissal of the question.

"Oh I've already seen it five times." I said cheerily. The old man's bushy eyebrows rose at this.

"Oh? are you fond of the series?" he questioned  
My smile got bigger(if that was possible.) I'd found another ringer!

"Oh yes! I've got all the books,and all the movies! although, my books aren't in very good shape..." i trailed off embarrassed by my obsessiveness

"Yes?"

Screw it. i'm sure he's got old and tattered books from being read over and over.

"Well...tis embarrassing..but... they're old and ripped from me reading them over and over and over again!" i rushed out the last bit.  
The old man laughed merrily. I smiled and felt a bit better.

"Well that's nice to hear! most young people just run around with their electronics and have lost intrest in paper books and fantasy movies. things that give the imagination a boost, and not rost the just yesterday! i saw a four year-old with one of those touch screen phone things. honestly, what need does a child have for a phone?!" he huffed. i laughed.

"Yes i completely agree! Mister..?" he smiled and did a mock bow I giggled at the old man's chivalrous ways. this is why i loved old people! they're just so polite! i did a mock curtsey in return which made him laugh heartily.

"I am Ian Greyhame, and who might i ask,are you fair maiden?" I laughed harder at this and he chuckled.  
"My name is Elizabeth Daniels! it's very nice to meet you Mister Greyhame!" Inner me frowned a bit at this. '_Greyhame..Greyhame..where in middle earth have i heard that name!"_ I noticed that the rain was starting to pour harder. I growled.

"Drat this confounded rain!" Mister Grayhame looked up and squinted his eyes.

"I do believe they called for severe thunderstorms tonight." I groaned.

"Oh _lovely._" I sighed.

"Well it was nice meeting you Mister Grayhame! i would feel terrible if i let you continue on your way without an umbrella,my apartment isn't to far from here, i can get you an umbrella and a nice cuppa if you'd like." i offered. I really would feel absolutely_ awful _if i knew he was walking around in the rain with only his (admittedly cool) woolen coat.

Mister Grayhame smiled."That would be lovely! thank you for such a kind offer! most other young people just laugh at me when i walk by." I frowned at this. Why would someone laugh at such a nice grandfatherly old man?

"Well then their terrible people, and their parents should have taught them better!" I said stubbornly, standing by my newfound friend.

He smiled. "You're such a nice well behaved young lady!I'm sure you have lots of suitors coming to knock at your door." he winked.

I laughed so hard, we had to stop walking to my apartment so i could catch my breath."N-no." i said, still recovering from my giggle fit.

"No,most boys think me weird, mostly because i prefer books to people more often then not, and because i'm such a movie junkie."

"Ah. So you have many books?"

"I have turned the guest room into my own personal library. My guests have to sleep on the couch when i have them over!"

It was his turn to laugh now. "That's quite an amazing feat there! I'm sure you're very proud!" I puffed out my chest in mock arrogance.

"Yes i am! i sometimes lend books out to friends! if they damage my precious books, I behead them myself!" I cackled madly after i said this.  
after i stopped cackling and found that we were at my door. i walked in and shut the door behind him,and shook myself off. and then i gave the loudest sneeze i've ever given.  
"Blimey! i don't know where _that _came from!" i sniffled a bit Mister Grayhame gave me a look. i waved him off with a "Don't worry, it's probably the dust that's settled around the house.I must give it a proper cleaning,i really must."

I shuffled into the kitchen "make yourself at home Mister Ian!" i poked my head out of the kitchen and into the Library. He looked up from,'The Magician's Nephew' and settled his gaze on me as i walked in for a moment. "Oh C.S Lewis. I love the chronicles of Narnia. Such a well written books." he smiled as he said this. I looked down over his shoulder to see what page he was on. "Yes,i do enjoy The Narnia series, but I myself am more of a, J.K Rowling and Tolkien girl." He nodded his head, getting caught up in the plotline. I giggled, and walked back into the kitchen to finish the tea and get out some kind of snack for the nice old man.

I pulled the kettle off the stove when it whistled and poured it into the teapot,all the while humming, 'Over the Misty Mountains' and then started singing it quietly in soprano/alto.

'Far over the misty mountains cold.

To dungeons deep, and caverns old.

The pines were roaring on the height.

The winds were moaning in the night.

The fire was red, it flaming spread.

The trees like torches blazed with light...'

I started when i heard clapping. i leaned against the table for support and put a hand over my racing heart. '_Bloody hell! i didn't even hear him come in! i guess i got a little caught up in the song...' _

"Such a lovely voice you have! i have seen the movie to know that it was sung in tenor or bass." I blushed at the praise.  
"Well, i slightly altered it. Not by much, though." Mr. Ian smiled.

"Would you mind singing another song? this old soul hasn't heard such a nice voice in awhile." I thought for a moment before a mischievous grin spread across my face.  
"Of course i wouldn't mind! i know just the song too!" he grew a bit wary at this, obviously knowing what kinds of songs are out there nowadays.

I started to dance around the room when i started singing my chosen song.

'Blunt the knives, bend the forks.

Smash the bottles and burn the corks.

Chip the glasses and crack the plates.

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!

Cut the cloth, trail the fat,

leave the bones on the bedroom mat.

Pour the milk on the pantry floor,

splash the wine on every door!

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl,

ground them up with a thumping pole.

And when you're finished, if any are whole,

send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!'

Mr. Ian loved that song! he was roaring with laughter and holding his sides when i had finished, and because i struck a silly pose at the end of the course!

After we had finished our afternoon tea, I really _really_ wasn't feeling well. i was shivering,coughing and sneezing all at the same time! '_Blegh. i don't feel so hot...'_

Mr Grayhame looked at me,a worried look in his eyes. but he hid it in a smile.

"Thank you for such a lovely afternoon Miss Elizabeth, but I'm afraid I must be going now. I have some...pressing business to attend to."

I frowned a little bit. "Well alright, but it's still raining out there..." He smiled at me.  
"Indeed it is. I think, if i may, I'd like to use that umbrella that was offered." I smiled at him and got the umbrella from my closet. by the time i came out, he already had his coat and hat on. I handed him the umbrella and he smiled again. "Thank you again for that lovely cup of tea Miss Daniels. and for the umbrella. I shall return it to you when i can." I waved off the last bit. "It's alright Mister Grayhame, I have plenty of umbrella's in my closet! and thank _you_ for the company! it does get dreadfully quiet when living by oneself." I really didn't feel good now. i felt like i was going to hack up part of my lung soon. Mister Ian leaned close to me and said lowly,

"Yes it does. now if i were you, I would go lay down and get some rest. Bad things happen when one has a high fever and lives alone." he straightened up and i looked at him in confusion "Good day, Miss Elizabeth Daniels. i do hope you're the right one..." he muttered the last bit so i couldn't hear him, but i did. i closed the door, and leaned against it as i closed my eyes for a second. In that second, i saw a dragon,fire and screaming. My eyes jerked Mister Ian's words rang in my ears, mixing with the screams that faded.

"Grayhame..." i muttered as i slowly made my way to the library. The blood in my ears was pounding, but i ignored it. i looked through a Lord of the Rings character book that i had since i was a child. the words were blurry, and i could barely make out what the words said. I put a hand on my forehead and immediately pulled my hand away. I looked up in the mirror, only to see my clear blue eyes, bloodshot and blurry, like i was focussing on something in the skin was pale, and flushed at the same time, and i was breathing like an asthmatic after running a 24k race. i loked back at my book, flipping through until i found what i was looking for.

"Ah-ha! here we go. 'Gandalf the grey (or white) has many names. here we have listed a few that he goes by;Olórin, Mithrandir, Tharkun, Greyhame'" I paused here. "Greyhame?" It hit me."Oh good Lord Elrond. Grayhame,Greyhame, GREYHAME! THAT was where i knew his name from!" I stood quickly,only to fall back on my chair. I growled. "I need..to get..UP!" i threw myself out of the chair, and used my momentum to try and get to the door of the library. But it was not ment to be so. My legs gave out, right at the doorway, and i fell so fast i couldn't grab the doorframe. I fell on my stomach, and was momentarily dazed. That one second was all this fever needed to get the upper hand. I saw black starting to crowd my vision. I forced the blackness back, and used my arms to try and pull myself forwards to the door. but my arms collapsed halfway through the living room. the black started to come back again, but this time i heard the dwarves singing.

'_Far over the misty mountains cold._

_to dungeons deep and caverns old._

Everything i saw started swimming before me, and my apartment was beginning to be replaced by a land with rolling hills and people only a tad bit shorter then me ( for i was only up to lower-chest on Grayhame's tall body. i was probably a head smaller then Thorin.)

_'The pines were roaring, on the hight._

_the winds were moaning in the night._

'_my gosh...what's going on...' _

_'The fire was red it flaming spread._

_the trees like torches blazed with light._

I was officially freaking out now. as much as i could when i couldn't move very well. "Help...please.. help..!"

Third Person POV

Bilbo was taking a nice stroll in the woods on such a lovely day. He was on the way back to Bag-End, when he heard a faint, "Help..." he stopped and looked around. '_what was that?' "Please..help!" _ Bilbo ran to where he heard the voice. He gasped when he saw a short girl (presumably human from her feet.,not having a beard, and no pointed ears.)

He rushed over to her."My goodness! Are you quite alright ma'am?" she looked up at him and gasped again. the girl's face was somehow pale and flushed at the same time, while the sclera of her eyes were so red there were no traces of white in reached out and touched her forehead, only to pull his hand away with a hiss of pain and shock from said hobbit. "your forehead is burning up!" the girl groaned. "Really? I didn't notice. i thought i had sunburn." she said sarcastically Bilbo sighed. '_well at least she seems ok enough to be sarcastic. that's good. I think.' _ "Can you walk?" he asked the girl. She groaned in response and he was impresses when she slowly stood. she stood about an inch or two taller then him, but she looked light enough to carry if need be. She then looked him in the eye, and said "Nope." before she passed out.

Bilbo panicked, and jumped forwards to catch her before she hit the ground. "Oh dear. Oh dear oh dear! this is bad! i need to get her home before she gets worse or..." Bilbo trailed off and shuddered. he didn't want the poor girl to die. He loked down at the girl in his arms."Don't you dare die, you got that? I don't know who you are, but don't you dare die on my watch!" then a thought occurred to him. "How am i going to get you home!"

Three weeks later.

Elizabeth groaned as the light hit her eyes. '_where am i..? I was in my living room...i was about to pass out... i suddenly found myself in a forest with Bilbo Baggins...' _Her thought hit her, and she fell out of bed. "What?!" Bilbo burst into the room she was staying in. he looked around, then saw here on the floor. "What are you doing on the floor Ma'am?" She lifted her face off the ground and out of the (admittedly soft) rug. "Oh you know. The usual. I wanted to get acquainted with the rug. it's a very soft 'ja know that?" Bilbo looked at her with raised eyebrows. She sighed "I tried to stand up,because my legs were sore." she explained. "Ah. Well, that's understandable that one's legs would be sore after being in bed for three weeks!" He chuckled, While Elizabeth was _NOT_ sharing the humor here. she froze. "Do what now?" He looked at her. 'You've been asleep for three weeks Ma'am." He said hesitantly, as if the woman was going to lash out at him. She sat down hard on the bed.(for she had gotten up while he was talking.) "Um...Excuse me, but I don't know your name..." The woman was still staring into space,obviously still slightly in shock from how long she'd be asleep. "It is common courtesy to give one's nam ebefore asking for someone else's name." she said automatically before turning to him. Bilbo winced a bit from being scolded from someone he didn't know. But the woman smiled at him. "But I am not one who cares much for so much formality." she stuck out her hand to shake hands with him."Elizabeth. Elizabeth Daniels. Pleasure to meet you Mister..?"Bilbo quickly took her hand in his and shook it heartily. "Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins! the pleasure is all mine Miss Daniels!" Now it was Elizabeth's turn to wince. She didn't like people calling her Miss.

"Please Mister Bilbo, just Elizabeth. It makes me feel old when people call me 'Miss Daniels'." Bilbo nodded.

"Alright Miss Elizabeth. I must ask though, do you have anywhere to go?" Elizabeth felt the weight of things hit her.

"N-no." she choked out as a sob tore through her. "I suppose i have no where to go." she closed her eyes as silent tears rolled down her face. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

Bilbo hesitated. "I-if you like, you can stay here." He winced as she looked at him with big blue eyes full of tears."Really? you mean it?" He nodded quickly."yes yes, of course!"

Elizabeth dried her tears with her sleeve."But i cannot just sit around and do nothing all the time! is there something you could have me do?" She looked at Bilbo as he thought for a moment. "Well,I do need a housekeeper and cook..." SHe looked at him. "Done deal. the only thing i require is some time to myself, and that you do not question my activities."

"Activities?" Bilbo asked.

"Oh i am a fair hand at a in a while i'll meander off into the woods for a walk to work on my i'll let you know when i go anywhere."

Elizabeth POV

Bilbo looked a little shocked."Well...alright,i suppose..."

I smiled at Bilbo. He really wasn't a bad little hobbit...not at all. On the contrary, he waas quite nice to let some random stranger he barely knew stay with him. '_I just need to stay with him until An Unexpected Journey begins...' _I looked at Bilbo's smiling little face, and immediately felt guilty. '_I can't take advantage of Bilbo! no. When the dwarves come, i'm only going if Bilbo goes. If they offer me to go, I won't go. But Bilbo does go, so how am i going to go with him?' _

I saw that Bilbo had gone into the kitchen to make some tea. I looked out the window in my room and saw the Shire and all the little hobbit kids running around and playing, all the adults talking and laughing while watching the children. I smiled at the simplistic lifestyle that the hobbits were so fond of. I went over and opened the window and took a deep breath of the fresh air in. I breathed out as the warm breeze caressed m face. For the first time in my entire life, I felt... .Happy. I smiled a small,but genuine, peaceful i heard a loud crash followed by,"Um,Elizabeth!? i could use some help here...!" I walked into the kitchen to see what was the matter, but nothing prepared me for what i saw in that kitchen.  
Bilbo was standing on a stool, with the kettle on its side, water splashed everywhere, what looked like a broken cookie jar, and Bilbo. Dear Bilbo! he had crumbs all over his nice vest, and in the hair on his feet. But it was the look on his face that had me laughing. He looked like a sheepish child that got caught sneaking cookies, and an exceedingly irritated grown-up, that had to deal with said child's mess! It was hysterical!  
While i was laughing, Bilbo's irritated look slowly melted off his face. "Well, if you're quite finished,I believe i have something for you to clean.." I giggled and nodded my head, and went and got a broom and a mop to clean up the mess that Bilbo made.

And that, my dear friends, is how i became Bilbo Baggins housekeeper. And that is also, where my adventure began. In a hole in the ground, Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.

That is where my story starts.

**WOOOOO! i have a The Hobbit story! i have to say, i actually like this better then my "After Shower Surprise" ...which is no longer my baby. I disowned it lol. I don't know when i'm going to be able to pst the chapters, My holiday ends this Monday.*Sobs* so i'm going to cram as many chapters as i can within weekends. SO THAT MEANS NO SLEEPOVERS! poop. I MUST BE FOCUSED. so if anyone wants to PM me after reading this,don't. not that i don't like PM's or reviews, i just feel obligated to respond immediately, and i want to give birth to this chapter's brother asap. ( picture. me needs mind soap.) and YES! Elizabeth IS related to Evelyn. Evelyn is Elizabeth's youngest cousin, and only other girl cousin. but so yeah, gonna sign off now! i'm in labor, and those plot's ain't gonna push themselves out! Remember, more reviews = happy author= MORE POWAH! no that's not right...oh,here it is...MORE CHAPTERS! ****Astalavista mates!**


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWOOOOO! sups world? i wanna see the Hobbit for the third time this tuesday. Martin Freeman is ****_beast_**** man. True Story. ERMAGERSH! SO MANY REVIEWS! WE LOVES YOU ALL! don't we precious? yes we does! well anyways, since i didn't do this last chapter, I'll have Ori do the disclaimer! ORI GO!**

**Ori: Um, uh, ok then...**

**Beautiful-Bird-Avenger99 does not own The Hobbit or the lord of the rings. all she owns is lots and lots of posters of us. mostly of Thorin and the twins though...and she never dresses in her room for some reason...not like we're watching her...well, maybe Fili and Kili are...**

** / A-hem. thank you Ori for that lovely disclaimer! anyways! **

**ON WITH THE SHOW / STORY!**

Five months later

I hummed 'Over the Misty Mountains' as i stalked a rabbit in the forest behind Bilbo's house. It was my day off, so i packed my (Strictly three) meals, grabbed my bow, and wandered off into the forest. After about three hours of hunting, i only had about five rabbits. '_That's odd...i usually get more... i wonder if someone's been traveling near here..' _

I shrugged my shoulders and laid down on the soft grass in a clearing, not to far from Bilbo's house, but not to close either. "Just perfect for my privacy." i muttered to myslef as i dozed off into dreamland...

A few hours later...who am i kidding? LOTS of hours later...

My eyes shot open and darted around, to see where i was, and if i was safe. I was breathing heavily, and my mouth was dry. I put my hand up over my eyes, and I felt wetness. I stumbled over to a nearby pond, and looked in and grimaced. My normally neat dark brown hair was all messed up from the neat braid i had put it in this morning. My clear blue eyes were alert and panicked, and full of fear. Hot tears had run down my face while i was asleep. I looked down at my hands and saw they were shaking.

I took in a deep breath. "Breath in,breath out. In, ,out..." I repeated this cycle until I had stopped shaking. I cleaned off my face and re-braided my hair in it's usual long waist length braid. I got up and grabbed my bow and my quiver and walked a few paces until i realized i forgot my rabbits. I let out a long loud groan and started the treck back to the clearing.

I was huffing in annoyance when i finally got back to Bilbo's house. "Blasted Sackville-Bagginses...freaking arseholes..." I was so annoyed as i opened the door, that i didn't notice the mark on the door, or that the house that _was perfectly impeccable when i left was now filthy. _"Bilbo i'm home again. Sorry i'm late for supper but," i walked into the kitchen and put the rabbits on the counter and started skinning it. "I was on my way back and was almost home when i noticed i had forgotten the rabbits i got today, i only got five ones today but their fat so that makes up for the lack of number," I paused, '_Did i hear a snicker?' _Bilbo _never_ snickered at me! I frowned a bit. "...But i got back only to see that dreadful Lobelia Sackville-Baggins and her horrid little snot-nosed brat trying to steal my rabbits! Of course Lobelia _had _to try and argue with me, which she should have learned by now that _no one ever _wins an argument with me!" I put on an apron over my off-day clothes, which consisted of brown leggings to match my hair, and a forest green tunic-y thing with a belt,like my old t-shirts.

"Honestly!the bloody _nerve_ of that dreadful woman! accusing me of trespassing on _Her _land!" i had filled a pot with water and was currently vigorously chopping carrots and as if to punctuate my sentence i slid all the carrots off the cutting board and into the pot. (**An:Think of what Colette did from Ratatouille.) **I turned and stirred the pot and then started cutting the potato's. I heard more snickers,but they were closer now. i narrowed my eyes and tilted my head to look discreetly to the side. I saw a flash of brown and blond duck behind the wall. I sharply drew in a breath. They were here? now? it was happening _NOW!? _ bloody hell. just play along!

"So after i gave her a piece of my mind, she had the bloody nerve to try and slap me! Don't worry, i didn't hurt her, i just ducked and tripped her. Then i told her to get off 'Mister Baggins's property' and she ran off in a huff. bloody dreadful woman! Why are they your heirs? just make Drogo and Primula's son your heir,what was his name again? lovely boy he was. nice and polite."

Fili and Kili were sneaking up behind me now. i slowly reached for a smaller (but still nice and heavy) frying pan. '_Time to get my Samwise on.' _ "Really, i do like books much better. people can be such a _nuisance_!" and after i said this i spun around and hit Fili with the frying pan, kicked the shocked Kili's legs out from under him and then hit him with the pan.

Bilbo rushed in before the rest of the dwarves to see if i was alright, only to se me standing on Kili and Fili, on foot on each of their backs, me twirling the frying pan in my hand, smirking, while they were groaning in pain on the floor. "Elizabeth are you alrigh- what are you doing?" I rose an eyebrow as the rest of the dwarves came in, saw the situation the mischievous dwarves had gotten themselves into, and wasted no time in falling to the ground laughing at the two's misfortune as they lay on the ground in pain.

I finally took pity on the poor boys and let them up off the ground. I offered each boy-men- _dwarves_ a hand and they looked up at me surprised. I just smiled and pulled them up off the ground.

"Now, i do believe we haven't been _properly _introduced,have we?" Fili and Kili smiled brightly and gave each other a look before grabbing each of my hands(respectively) and kissed the back of them before saying,"Fili." "and Kili" they bowed and said in union, "At your service" I flushed a bit at that, for other then Bilbo, I hadn't had much male interaction in my time in middle earth.

I pulled my hands away quickly to avoid further embarrassment on my part. I cleared my throat before turning to the rest of the dwarves, ignoring the madly cackling pair of twins behind me, and the flush on my face. "And the rest of you are?"

Bifur grunted at me, and Bofur translated. "He's Bifur"

"Bofur"

"Bombur!"

"Dori."

"Nori"

"Ori!"

"Oin."

"Gloin,"

I turned towards the largest, and bulkiest dwarf, Dwalin. i, of course, knew all their names, being the book junkie i am. But it would have been creepy if i randomly called them by their names if they hadn't told me yet...

"Dwalin." he growled. I smiled nice and brightly to catch him off guard, for he must have been used to people being afraid of him, and i stuck my hand out to shake hands with him and to my complete and _utter _surprise and delight, he shook my hand _exceedingly_ gently. Which i appreciated.I prefer my hands where they are, which is on my wrists.

"And my name is Balin,young Miss."

And they stunned me and they all said in union, "At your service!" I blinked. once. Twice. and then i laughed.

"Elizabeth Daniels at yours!" my eyes widened and i ran back into the kitchen, leaving eleven confused dwarves, and one frazzled hobbit in my wake. I stirred the soup, and lifted the spoon up to my mouth and blew on it gently, and then tasted it. I made a face and murmured, "It needs some spice..." I started walking to the pantry, ignoring Bilbo's cries of,"No! don't go in there!" and the dwarves sniggering behind Bilbo. I walked into the pantry, only to stop and stare at the once overly-full pantry, that was now ravaged and pillaged of all the food.

"What the-"

*3d person POV*

"-bloody freaking hell has happened to my pantry?!" the dwarves eyes widened at Elizabeth's rough language. "My, my my. Your language has gotten worse since we last met, hasn't it Elizabeth?" Gandalf said as he came up behind them. Elizabeth turned around and her eyes widened.

"And isn't it _wonderful _to see you again,Mister Greyhame? Hmm?" She said a little too sweetly, with a smile that promised he would have hell to pay. Gandalf grimaced as he remembered a saying from Elizabeth's world.'_Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn... it tis all to true unfortunately.'_

Elizabeth had just finished the soup, ignoring all the shenanigans going on in Bilbo's dining room, when Ori came up to her as she went into the hallway.

"I don't understand what their doing in my house!" Elizabeth heard Bilbo exclaim when she walked into the hallway.

"Excuse me? what should i do with my plate?" Elizabeth smiled at the polite (Although admittedly not very bright) dwarf.

"Well i-" Fili walked up and grabbed Ori's plate.

"Here you go Ori, give it to me." He tossed Ori's plate to Kili and Kili tossed it into the kitchen, and they repeated that cycle with the dishes having fun and showing off for Elizabeth,who was laughing and clapping to the catchy beat the dwarves at the table were making with the silverware. "Wait! no,those are my mother's west farthing pottery, there over a hundred years old!" Bilbo was terribly stressed now with what the dwarves were doing with his precious dishes. "And could you please not do that!?You'll blunt them!"

"Ye hear that lads? he says we'll blunt the knives!" Bofur said sarcastically. Elizabeth giggled at that.'_Ah, sarcasm.I have missed you.' _Elizabeth thought to herself.  
She started laughing, and joined in when she heard Fili and Kili start the song.

'_Blunt the knives bend the forks!_

_Smash the bottles and burn the corks!_

_Chip the glasses and crack the plates!_

_THAT'S WHAT BILBO BAGGINS HATES!_

_Cut the cloth and tread the fat!  
Leave the bones on the bedroom mat!  
Pour the milk on the pantry floor!  
Splash the wine on every door!_

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl;  
Pound them up with a thumping pole;  
And when you've finished, if any are whole,  
Send them down the hall to roll!

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!'

Elizabeth's POV!

I laughed as we finished the song, and as Bilbo shoved his way through the crowd of dwarves in his kitchen, only to see the pile of clean, non-broken, dishes. We were all laughing when we heard a knock on the door.

"I'll get it!" I said, and walked to the door, not hearing Gandalf's "Well, wait, hold on Elizabeth!"

I opened the door, and my breath caught in my throat, the movies _did not _do him justice. When i saw The Hobbit the first time in theaters, I was overwhelmed with the feeling of power radiating off of Thorin made me choke on my popcorn. But now, seeing him in person, I was nearly suffocating on it. My mouth opened, and a small "Hello there."

Thorin looked at me strangely. "Am i at the house of Bilbo Baggins?" He said gruffly. I smiled a little bit, still recovering from that _overwhelming_ bit of powerful aura.

"Y-yes, this is Bilbo Baggins house. The other dwarves are here so if you please..." I opened the door fully and stepped aside, so that he could come in.  
THe other dwarves and Gandalf were now in the foyer to greet Thorin.

"Gandalf." Thorin started to walk in, nodding at me in thanks. "I thought you said that this place would be easy to find.I lost my ." He started to take off his cloak. I quickly averted my eyes.'_Good lord Elizabeth! it's not like he's doing a strip tease or anything.' _I paled, then flushed a bright unhealthy red when i pictured that. Air. i needed air. '_Breath Elizabeth! my GOD! MIND NEED IT. i'm talking, to myself. God,i've gone mad.' _ He then proceeded to neatly flod it over his arms, and cross said arms. then he turned back to Gandalf. "I wouldn't have found my way at all if it hadn't been for the mark on the door." Bilbo seemed to collect his wits about him,just enough to be a bit snappish.

"Mark? there's no mark on _that _door,it was painted a _week _ago!" '_Oh god Bilbo, don't!' _

"There _is _a mark there, i put it there myself." Gandalf hastily replied to Bilbo before the poor Hobbit could embarrass himself in front of the company leader more. Gandalf gestured to Thorin with his hand.

"Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our company,Thorin Oakenshield." Bilbo looked at Thorin with wide eyes.

" So,this is the hobbit." He circled Bilbo, eyes never straying him,looking him up and down.

"Tell me Mr. Baggins, have you done any fighting?choose your weapon,axe or sword?"

"Well i have some skill at conkers,if you must know. But i.." he looked around nervously. "I fail to see why that's relevant." He looked Thorin up and down a few times to try and intimidate Thorin if he just looked a little amused at this.

"Thought as much." He glanced around at his men briefly. And then looked back at Bilbo. "He looks more like a grocer then a burglar." and proceeded to smirk a little smirk that had my inner fangirl dying instantly. '_my god he's gorgeous...AHH! stop!stop it! stop acting like a hormone-driven teenage fangirl!' _ Gandalf turned his head towards me.

"Elizabeth,would you get Thorin here a bowl of the nice warm stew you made? it's quite cold outside, and i'm sure he could use a decent meal." I nodded and quickly left the room,feeling Thorin's eyes on my back the whole time. I shuddered and let out a shaky breath one i entered the kitchen and grabbed a bowl and filled it up with stew, and grabbed a loaf of bread that i saved for Thorin. I took a breath. '_Its alright Elizabeth...he's just a man...a really REALLY **SEXY **Man...dammnit.I'm screwed.' _I walked in with the bowl and bread. trying not to be...so...fangirl.

:THIRD PERSON POV:3

Thorin looked up and nodded his thanks at the girl, Elizabeth,he thought her name was, sat down a bowl of good smelling stew, and some bread."I'm sorry, but this is all we have at the moment." He looked up at her and studied her face for a moment. She was pretty, she wasn't exactly breathtaking like the elves were, Thorin thought begrudgingly, but she had a simple beauty about her. She didn't cake her face with powder like some girls did,nor did she make her hair super curly or anything. her dark blue eyes seemed to look straight into his very soul, and her long dark brown hair could pass as black. She nodded as she sat down the bowl and whispered "I'm sorry but, we don't have anymore ale left." He looked at her apologetically, he knew how his company ate. "Tis alright, i have managed without before, i shall manage now." She gave Thorin a small smile and went to stand next to Gandalf.

"What news of the meeting in Aragloin?Did they all come?" Balin asked.  
Thorin nodded.

"Aye. Envoys from all seven kingdoms."

"What do the dwarves of the iron hills say?Is Dain with us?" Dwalin said.  
Thorin looked down at his stew, and back up at his company."They will not come." there were disappointed groans from all around the dining room."They say this quest is ours, and ours alone."

"Y-your going on a quest?" Asked whole dining room was looking at him now. '_Damn. if i were him, i'd pee myself.' _Elizabeth thought to herself.

"Ah! Bilbo, let us have a little more light." Bilbo nodded and scurried off to find a lamp, as Gandalf pulled out a small map from his sleeves.

"Far to the east, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak." He spoke as he unfolded the map and pointed at the single mountain.

"The-" Bilbo started.

"The Lonely Mountain." Elizabeth said quietly, but all the dwarves heard her words. "Tis such a sad name for such a beautiful place..." Thorin looked at her.

"You have seen it...?" He said. She started out of her trance-like state at his words,

"What? oh, no no. I haven't seen it personally, but i've seen paintings...It looks like such a peaceful place, you'd never think a dragon lives there until you see the ruins of Dale." The dwarves looked at her in shock. they had never come across a normal person who knew of the beauty and wonder of Erebor.

Balin smiled at the girl, so enchanted by a simple map."Aye. it tis lassie." getting back to business, Gloin said

"Aye, and Oin has read the portents, and the portents say, it is _time!_"

"Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain, as it was foretold! when the barents of Yohan return to Eraborn, the reign of the beast will end. " this time it was Oin who spoke. now the dwarves were getting louder. Bilbo chose this time to walk into the room.

"So...what beast?"

"Well that would be in reference to Smaug the terrible, the greatest chief calamity of our age." Bofur said."Airborne fire breather,Teeth like razors, claws like meathooks, extremely fond of precious metal-

"Yes i know what a dragon is." Bilbo replied somewhat sarcastically. '_My gosh! Bilbo using sarcasm?! i've rubbed off on him!' _

Ori stood up, pushing his chair back a bit."I'm not afraid! i'm up for it! i'll give him a taste of dwarfish iron right up his jacxi!" "Sit down!" I smiled at Ori as he was pulled down by Nori. "You forget we have a lady in our company!" Elizabeth snorted, drawing the attention of all the dwarves in the room looking at her confused.

"I don't know what lady you're talkin 'bout, but it ain't me." Kili and Fili chuckled at this. ANd then Bilbo said, "Oh yes, it's quite true! you should her her when she's had a bad day and she's on her-" Elizabeth quickly put Bilbo into a headlock, muffling what he was about to say. "Now now Bilbo, there's no need for them to know about that." and she just shook her head at the very much confused dwarves.

"It would be hard enough with an army behind us, but we only number thirteen." Balin looked around. "And not thirteen of the best...nor brightest.." Well the dwarves certainly took offense against _that. _They all stood up, shouting insults at Balin.

"Who are you calling dim!" another dwarf said indignantly.

"We may be few in numbers," It was Fili who spoke now, distracting the dwarves. "But we're fighters. All of us, to the last dwarf!" he hit the table to punctuate his words.

"And you forget we have a _wizard _in our company, Gandalf will have killed, _hundreds _of dragons in his time!" Elizabeth snickered very softly at Kili's declaration.

"Well,I-i wouldn't say many now..." Gandalf tried.

"Well? how many?"

"What?"

"Well,come on! how many dragons have you killed!?" Dori kept trying. Gandalf just sort of...choked on his pipe smoke, as all the dwarves looked at him expectantly.

"Go on! give us a number!" Now all the dwarves were on their feet, shouting at each other, while poor Bilbo tried to calm them down.

Thorin stood and said something in Khuzdul, and stood up, making all the dwarves immediately sit down, and be very quiet.

"If we have read these signs, do you not think that others have read them too? Rumors have begun to dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty look east to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people lies unprotected, Do we sit back, while others claim what is rightfully ours, or do we or do we sieze this chance to take back Erabor!" Thorin shouted while the dwarves cheered. Elizabeth smiled at Thorin's back.

"You forget that the front gate is sealed!there is no way into the mountain." Balin said above all the noise, once Thorin had sat down.

"That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." Gandalf said as he flipped a key around his fingers,holding it up for Thorin to looked at the key in awe and wonder.

"How came you by this?"

"It was given to me by your father, Thrain, for safekeeping. it's your's now." Gandalf finished as he handed the key to Thorin. The dwarves cheered the loudest this time when Thorin had the key in his hand, and held it up for all to see.

"If there is a key...there must be a door..." Fili said.

Gandalf nodded."These runes speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls." Kili patted his hand on his older brother's shoulder.

"There's another way in..!" he said with excitement

"Well of we can find it these's no guarantee that those doors would be closed as well." He sighed. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map, but i do not have the skill to find it, But, there are others in Middle Earth who can." and gave Thorin a pointed look, to which said dwarf looked back with stubbornness. "The task i have in mind will require a great deal of stealth, and no small amount of courage." Gandalf looked at Bilbo, who was looking at the map, and looked up at Gandalf. "But if we are careful,and clever, I believe that it _can _be done."

"That's why we need a burglar!" Exclaimed Ori.

"Hmm.A good one too. an expert i'd imagine." Bilbo said, not paying attention.

"And _are_ you?

Bilbo looked up quickly, and looked behind him."Am i what?"

"HE SAID HE'S AN EXPERT!" Oin (loudly) said with his ear trumpet.

"Me?me-No,no no no!I-i'm not a burglar! I've never stolen a thing in my life!"  
Elizabeth coughed, and everyone looked at her. She turned slightly pink at having so much attention."Speak for yourself Mister Bilbo. and i believe Belladonna would have a few things to say about lying." Elizabeth smirked as Bilbo turned red."Well, I-"

"Then i'm afraid i'm going to have to agree with Mister Baggins, he's hardly burglar material." Balin said. Bilbo nodded his agreement.

"Aye, the wild is no place for gentlefolk who can't fight nor fend for themselves." Dwalin said. as the other dwarves started grumbling.

"Enough!" Gandalf stood up as the room darkened with some kind of magic. "If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar then a burglar he is! Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet, and while the smell of dwarf is nothing new to Smaug, the smell of Hobbit is all but unknown to him!" Thorin thought for a moment, and turned to look at Elizabeth.

"But what about her? Surely the burglar is leaving her here." Elizabeth had been talking to Kili and Fili, whipped her head around.

*Elizabeth POV.*

'_Oh no he did NOT just go there.'_

"I have a name, _Master Dwarf. _and i would kindly ask you to use it!" I snapped at the, (Admittedly sexy) Dwarf king. Thorin glared at me.

"It would do you well to show some respect for your betters." '_Shit just got real man.'_

"If you want to see the true measure of a man, watch how he treats his inferiors, not his equals! I believe you are failing in that aspect!" '_Thank you J K Rowling!'_

I had avoided looking into Thorin's eyes until now, and when i looked up into them, his face was stoic, but his eyes were full of rage and fire. '_Crap. Angry dwarf king.' _

"Well then, _Girl,_ what is your name?" He growled out. I smiled up at him and bowed.

"My name, is Elizabeth Aaliyah Daniels."

"I have never heard such a strange name before." '_Ok, screw the hotness, Thorin Oakenshield is a COMPLETE ass.' _

I had just lifted the finger of, 'Oh no you didn't' and opened my mouth to respond to that, when Kili put his hand over my mouth, and Fili distracted his uncle while Kili pulled me away. he pulled me into the kitchen when i wiggled out of his grasp.

"What the _hell _man?!" Kili gave me a look.

"Do you have a death wish?!" he hissed. "Only the foolish anger my uncle!"

"Well what does that say about me." I said dryly. Kili let out a groan.

"You need to apologize to him." I looked at him incredulously.

"_Me?!_ why should _I _apologize to him! _He _was the one with the stick up his-" Kili covered my mouth with his hand again.

"Shhhh! he is only across the hall! Uncle can still hear you!" i huffed and shoved his hand off my mouth.

"There is _no way _you are getting me to apologize to Thorin! If you don't want me to bite off his head on this journey, then i suggest you tell him to man up, grow a pair, and apologize." with that, i turned and walked out of the kitchen before Kili could respond.

"Very well. give him a contract."

"What? wait, no. No!"

"Well then, we're off!" I snorted at Bofur's exclamation, Bilbo's panic, and the fact that Kili had magically gotten back to his seat without anyone noticing.

"It's just the expenses, time required, funeral arrangements and so forth." Balin explained as he handed over the contract.

"Funeral arrangements?" I looked over Bilbo's shoulder so i could read the contract too.I read over it quickly and sat back down on my chair near Gandalf, just as Thorin was finishing up saying,"Nor will i be responsible for his fate." Gandalf looked a bit worried at that.

"Agreed..." He smiled as he heard Bilbo read the contract out loud.

"...Shall not be liable for any injury's inflicted, limited to...lacerations? evisceration?" Bilbo's eyes got wide as he looked over at the table.

"Incineration?!" "Oh aye! He'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye!" Bofur said...a wee bit too cheerfully.

"That's not exactly going to persuade him to come along.." I mumbled to myself. or, so i thought. When i looked up, my breath caught in my throat. Thorin was staring right t me, his beautiful blue yes catching my own. His face was void of any other emotion, but his eyes...oh good lord! _his eyes!_ they were sparkling with amusement. He had heard what i said. I, very unwillingly, tore my eyes away from his, to look at Bilbo, who looked VERY pale.

"You alright laddie?" Balin said kindly. Bilbo put his hands on his knees and took short,quick breaths in and out. "Huh? yeah...feel a bit faint."

"Think furnace, with wings!"

"yeah, I-I-I I, air. i need air."

"Flash of light, searing pain, and then Pouf! you're nothin' more then a pile of ash!" I groaned and put my face in my hands.

"Oh yes. you've _ defiantly _got him coming along now..."

Bilbo straightened up, breathing in. everyone was quiet. Was he going to faint, or was he ok? Bilbo took in another big gulp of air, and everyone thought he was alright.

"No." and Bilbo fell over in a dead faint. I immediately jumped up from my spot next to Gandalf, as he also stood up to help the poor hobbit.

"Very helpful Bofur." I sighed, and walked over to Bilbo as Gandalf scolded the dwarf. I wheezed as i picked him up and threw his arm over my shoulders.

"My God! what on middle earth has this hobbit been eating? oh that's right;EVERYTHING. stupid bloody hobbits and their,1st Breakfast ,2nd Breakfast,Elevenses,Luncheon,Tea,Dinner,Supper, and Lord knows how many other snacks he has in between meals..." i huffed as i sat him down in his armchair in his study. Gandalf hurried in and sat down.

"Elizabeth, could you make some herbal tea for him? i should think that it would make him feel a tad better..." I smiled.

"Of course Gandalf. I was just on the way to make some. just come in and get some when you hear the kettle, m'kay?" i walked out of his study, and into the kitchen, only to run into THorin on the way. Literally. I seriously walked into him. Not one of my finer moments.

"Ow!" I...fell on my backside. In front of Thorin. THORIN BLOODY OAKENSHIELD. Goshdammit. my luck is not the best today. I snapped out of my reverie, to see a hand in front of me.i I look up, and see Thorin himself offering me that hand. I give a small smile, not knowing if he was going to like, go all ninja on me and grab my hand to pull me up, and punch me in the face from the momentum. Lord knows i've done that before. I grabbed his wrist in a so called, 'Manly-Man clasp.' He looked surprised for a moment, but quickly schooled his features. I had stood up, yet he did not let go of my hand. I felt my face start to heat up from contact with this...amazing specimen of the male race. "Is there something you need,um, sir?"

"Yes. I thought some on what you said about a man and those lower, and i realized that you were...correct. I have not done the best in that aspect. and i also realize that i was harsh with you. It is no crime to not know one's name,but that is no excuse for my behavior. I insulted you, and I apologize for that."

My mouth was as dry as the Sahara. My gosh, he was apologizing! to me! Gah, he was expecting and answer. words. I need to use them!

"Um, tis alright. I was the one who snapped. I did not mean to insult you either." Thorin gave a small smile. Good Lord. was he trying to kill me?

"I wish to start over." He bowed and kissed the hand he was STILL holding, all the while keeping eye contact. Oh my. Those blues. I felt as though i was on cloud i was sure my face was red now, And rightly so! "I am Thorin Oakenshield, what is your name?" I smiled and bowed back. Once he released my hand, of course.

"My name is Elizabeth Daniels, Sir Thorin."

"A lovely name, please, just call me Thorin." Well alrighty then. I'll take that!

as i walked into the living room, the dwarves started humming. oh my. this is when they-

_Far over, the Misty Mountains cold,_

_To dungeons deep, and caverns old,_

_to find our long forgotten gold._

Oh my lord. OK, stop, and remember the awesomeness that were the dwarves singing, and multiply that by twenty. No, twenty-five. It was amazing Thorin's voice...I wanted to kiss him right then. But, sadly, i couldn't. sigh. Oh my... oh Thorin...

_The pines were roaring on the hight._

_The tree's were moaning in the night._

_The fire was red, it flaming spread,_

_The tree's like torches, blazed with light..._

I started to feel tears pool in the corners of my eyes, such lonely people...such a lonely song... i drew a sharp breath as they stopped singing, and quickly wiped my eyes and walked in. Kili and Fili smiled at me and gestured towards the couch that they were sitting on. "Come on! there's still some room!"

"Not much brother. Your largeness fills up most of the space! I doubt she'll be able to fit in between us!" Obviously, they were to busy arguing over if i could or couldn't fit in between them on te couch, to notice that i raised my eyebrow, and got into my, 'oh no you didn't' stance. I looked at Bofur, who was laughing at the boys.

"Did Fili just imply i was fat?" Bofur smiled with mischief.

"Why o'course he did! Ye gotta smack 'im for that untrue accusation!" Bofur exclaimed with a cheeky wink. I smirked.

"watch this." I put on my best angry face. "KILI AND FILI! HOW DARE YOU ACCUSE ME OF BEING FAT!" I started fake sobbing now. "How could you!" i wailed, and peeked through my fingers to wink at Bofur, who was having a very difficult time holding in his laughter. Kili and Fili looked at each other in panic.

"No! No! No no no no no!that's not what we ment at all! Right Fili?!"

"Yes! we didn't mean anything! we're sorry! Your not fat at all! your quite lovely!it's nice seeing a woman without a beard! you're beautiful! your not fat...at...all..." Fili trailed off as my shoulders started shaking with suppressed laughter. A giggle escaped my lips. Oh shit.I peeked through my fingers again, to look around the room and see if anyone heard that. Crap. Oh my fish no. Thorin. heard. giggle. crappidy-do. ah, to hell with it. I slowly took my hands away from my face, keeping my head low.I looked up from behind my hair (Which was in my face. Ugh.) and gave him a smirk. Fili had caught up, and figured out my little joke. He looked me in the eye. Kili still hadn't caught on. i threw my head back and started laughing hard, holding my stomach. As everyone (minus Thorin. he just smirked at his nephew's misfortune. the sexy git.) started roaring with laughter as Kili just stood there, dumbfounded. I wiped tears of mirth from my eyes as i said, "O-oh! Oh my...that was the best laugh i've had in a while!" I walked over to the couch Kili and Fili had once occupied, sat down, and stretched my legs across the whole couch, so there was no room for them to sit back down.

"That was a good one lass! It's nice to see someone that can keep up with those two!" Bofur chuckled.I winked at him.

"Thanks mate. i've always enjoyed a good prank!"

"But..you..you were.." Kili was still in shock.

"Oi!" i got up and waved a hand in front of his face. When he didn't respond, i turned to Thorin, who gave me a questioning look.

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I broke your nephew." He cracked a small smile at this._Score! i made THE Thorin Oakenshield smile! ...sort of._

I went back to the couch and got my knitting out and started on it. What? if i was going to go in this journey, i was NOT going without a scarf. after about twenty minuets, i looked up to see Ori watching me knit. I smiled. Ori was so damn cute.

"Ori, c'mere." Ori got up and sat next to me as i moved over to make room for him on the couch. "You know how to knit right?" Ori flushed, looking at Kili and Fili, who were watching us.

"Y-yes." he said quietly. Kili and Fili started laughing at this, while Ori's face got a very unhealthy shade of red. While i just saw red.

"You stop laughing this instant!" I snapped at them as i stood, my knitting falling off my lap. Kili and Fili stopped laughing in their shock. _Well i'm just fucking FULL of surprises today aren't i._

"Bloody hell! it's not unmanly to be able to knit! I had a friend, yes who _was a man thank you very much, _that could knit as well as any woman, and everyone said he was a homosexual, but one day he got fed up with everyone teasing him about that, and he socked the guy who was teasing him right in the balls!" the males of the room flinched at this. Getting one's manly bits abused by fists or anything else is NOTHING to joke about in the 'Guyble'

"So be damn careful about what you say about knitting, or else one day you might find yourself neutered by knitting needles!" I exclaimed as i sat down from my little outburst. The dwarves were looking at me with something in between awe, and disbelief. "...If you all keep looking at me like that, Kili and Fili aren't going to be the only ones disappointing women in bed." Ori's face, which was a normal color, turned bright red at the mention of, 'in bed'

"Oh? and what do you know about being bedded? Hmm?" Bofur, who was the first one to break out of his stupor, said with a smirk. a smirk that i GLADLY returned.

"I dunno but.." i drawled. "...But i've been told that i'm a biter, and pretty _wild._" I said with a wink. I heard a thump, and turned to my left, where Ori was no longer sitting. I blinked at the unconscious dwarf on the floor. "Well," I put my knitting away, stood up, and put my hands on my hips. "I feel deadly and somewhat lethal!"

I stretched my arms behind me (as i was to tall to stretch them up) "well this has been fun and all, but i'm beat. i'm going to go to bed. G'night mates."

"G'night lass!" everyone else (minus Ori, seeing as he was still unconscious.) echoed the same. I turned to Thorin.

"Good night Thorin." I said with a smile.

"Good night, Elizabeth." aaaand there goes my saliva. I nodded at him, as i was unable to speak, for fear of saliva escapeige.

{[A few hours later, 3:00 AM]}

I groaned and rolled over in my bed, facing the wall again. for the fifth time. Elizabeth is not getting her lovely sleep. dammit. i'm talking to myself. sigh. I squeezed my eyes shut as another round of _loud obnoxious laughter _came from the living room. oh to hell with it. I threw the covers of my small frame, and stomped out of my room, and into the living room. the loud laughter abruptly died as soon as i walked in. i knew they were staring at my disheveled self. I knew Thorin was looking at me, probably thinking i was crazy. I. didn' .a. _fucking shit. _i was tired, and it was their fault. I glared at everyone of them, with my, 'Bitch-Ray' glare.

"_Do you know what fucking time it is!?"_ I snarled

"It's late, we know lass, we were just about to go to slee-" Bofur tried to reason. oh hell no. i do _not _reason while i'm in full out bitch mode.

"Do i look like i _fucking care_ if you were about to sleep?! i am going with you guys on this trip tomorrow, and if you have to get up at first light, you are going to have to deal with a _very bitchy Elizabeth." _

"I thought we already were." Bofur paled at Fili. I narrowed my eyes to mere slits, and whipped my head towards Fili so fast, it was a wonder i didn't get whiplash.

"**_what did you_ say?!**" I slowly ground out.

"I said, i thought we already were dealing with a very bitchy Elizabe-" CRACK Fili didn't get to finish his sentence, as he got a fist in the face. My fist. I saw fucking RED. i pounced on him swearing and cursing like the me before i came to the Shire.

"You son of a mother-fucking," punch "ass-pounding dumbass!" i barely registered strong arms around my waist before i was pulled off of Fili.

"let me go dammit! i'm not done with him!" I heard a strong, deep voice next to my ear say,"I think you should calm down Elizabeth."

"To hell with that mate!" i started thrashing towards Fili again, throwing all the insults my sleep deprived brain angry brain could think of.

"Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory! You'll never be the man your mother is! It looks like your ace caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a fork! Your so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you! IF YOU WERE TWICE AS SMART, YOU'D STILL BE STUPID! can i borrow your face?!" This last bit got many odd looks, as i said it calmly, and without struggle.

"Um, why do you want my face?" Fili asked tentatively. My rage came back full force.

"BECAUSE MY ARSE IS ON HOLIDAY!" the rest of the dwarves roared with laughter at this. the one holding me however, just sighed.

"Gandalf, where is her room? i'm going to see if i can calm her down."

"Just down the hall, and to the left."

"Thank you." the one holding me back started to drag me down the hallway towards my room.I kept thrashing and yelling, "Let me go i'm not done yet!" at random intervals. once we got into my room, i was thrown on my bed, and the door slammed shut before i could lunge for it again. i got into my low fighting stance.

"Let me out. Now."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"YES DAMMIT!"

"No."

"AUGH!" i flopped down on my bed, but perked my head back up."...Thorin?"

"Yes?" he sounded amused. dammit. I looked down at what my pj's were. oh. shit. i was wearing a light blue crop top, with one side that constantly fell off my shoulder, and some girl-boxers. son of a bitch.

"A-ah, Thorin?"

"Hmm?"

"please tell me nobody saw what i was wearing..?" i said hopefully. He snorted.

"I doubt it. with that," he gestured to my outfit here. "even a blind person could see it."I flopped back down on my bed with a groan.

"Their never going to let me live that down, are they?"

"Probably not."

"Dammit." Thorin chuckled a bit.

"You are a very strange girl."

"I take that as a compliment." I yawned.

"sleep. you are tired, and we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

"kk..." i trailed off as i slipped under my covers.

"Goodnight Thorin..."

"Goodnight, Elizabeth."

Those words were the last words i heard before sleep overtook me.


End file.
